Being in a committed relationship for a long time and then deciding to move abroad for a year to study is far from convenient. I found myself faced with this dilemma when I started my relationship a year before university. I had to weigh the options and make the decision to try long-distance. After successfully surviving two years apart due to attending different universities in the same country, we decided to give it a shot for another year even though we would be in different countries this time.
Yasmin Levy-Miller and Alex Bartlett have mostly been in a long-distance relationship, with two years physically apart from each other. "We’ve had challenges in showing each other our love when we are many miles away. It’s essential to make sure the little things are done. Whether it’s a letter in the mail or a voicemail to wake up to, it’s crucial to ensure that you both feel valued and remembered. It’s difficult when you live separate lives", says Levy-Miller. They follow a vague routine of Skyping every two weeks, having short phone calls multiple times a week or long catch-ups, depending on their flexibility.
The true challenge is learning to be comfortable while your other half lives elsewhere. "It’s essential to realize that your life is less synchronized when you two have different groups of friends. While involving them in your life is great, be independent. Embrace where you are but also acknowledge that you’re in different places. Although your heart may not be entirely in the city without your beloved, put as much effort into the place and other relationships as possible", says Levy-Miller.
Another couple that has been through the challenge of long distance are Stephanie Abery and Thomas Tolfts, who met during fresher’s week. They too have sustained their relationship while Abery was studying in America for a year. "Although it was tough for both of us, Tom had it worse since I was exploring a new country while he had to stick with his normal routine. Our frequent communication via Skype aided us in staying together". They believe that without technology and communication means, their long-distance relationship would have failed. They are now happily together five years later.
My partner and I use WhatsApp and Twitter to communicate regularly, which eliminates the need to arrange a specific time for calls. It has also helped me focus on my studies without feeling guilty of neglecting my relationship.
Although a year is long, being realistic about your relationship and staying in touch frequently keeps the distance from becoming a reason for a breakup.
